방학아 와라

하고싶은것만 하면서 살 수는 없지만
가끔은 하고 싶은것도 좀 살아야 하지 않나.
간절하게 방학이 기다려진다.
학교가 그립고 돌아와 열심히 공부하는 모습을 머리에서 그리기도 했었지만
잉여시절의 내 어리석음이었다.
역시 놀 때가 최고다.

crappy weekends

got too much homework and I'm stuck doing it for days..
and still tons to go.

hard work pays off?
but never will I do this stupid thing for a living. no chance. period.

I've got to stay up all night to get this thing done and I got tired already as hell! Let's soak up the caffeine and smoke tons of cigarettes like a chimney, shall we!?

stuff

I thought I could take it all just fine but seriously, it's putting too much pressure on me. I need to get away from all that for a while like right now. I figured what I want to do with my life but still have no idea how to get there.. I just can't see where I'm headed.

another chapter of my life is destined to happen that's what's up.

Miss right for me.

Who is my Miss Right and where is she?
If you're out there, I'm here steady waiting.

-

We haven't even met yet and I think I got ditched already.
Now my life sucks even more. Holy moly..

lonely sunday.. autumnal melancholy.

Not much. just chillin' here on my bed listening some indie bands.

.

Earlier this morning I watched 'adventureland' and gosh.. it reminds me of those days back then smoking some joints and getting high. Just sit back and relax. had nothing to worry about.

Unfortunately it's considered highly illegal here so won't happen any time soon.

mid-term schedule

10/12 English Grammar
10/20 교육사회, 컴교론
10/22 Algorithms
10/29 Programming Languages

Let's begin another week in hell with..

with Death Cab for Cutie.


"What Sarah Said"

And it came to me then that every plan
Is a tiny prayer to father time
As I stared at my shoes in the ICU
That reeked of piss and 409
And I rationed my breaths as I said to myself
That I’ve already taken too much today
As each descending peak on the LCD
Took you a little farther away from me
Away from me

Amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines
In a place where we only say goodbye
It stung like a violent wind that our memories depend
On a faulty camera in our minds
And I knew that you were a truth I would rather lose
Than to have never lain beside at all
And I looked around at all the eyes on the ground
As the TV entertained itself

'Cause there’s no comfort in the waiting room
Just nervous pacers bracing for bad news
And then the nurse comes ‘round and everyone lift their heads
But I’m thinking of what Sarah said
That love is watching someone die

So who’s gonna watch you die? So whos gonna watch you die

_

나는 나름 좋은 사람이다.

Ta-da!

Check out my new kicks!

Mine is the black pair. Wonderful colour collabo they are. Think how it would look like in the dark outfit.. and with my green WESC headphone!

연휴

작년엔 추석, 설날 다 외국에서 혼자 있었지만 이번에는 그렇지 않다! 가.. 갈비찜도 먹을 수 있다!

으하하 오늘은 최선을 다해 놀고 내일은 먹고 차례 지내고 또 신나게 놀고 모레는 조과제를 하고 월요일도 학교를 안가는구나! 허나 수요일 시험을 위해 월요일부터는 공부를 해야겠다. 참 월요일날 신발을 사야겠구나.

헿에헤에헤헿ㅇ

long day

A little visit to my bud S-k with Ju.
and after that- had a good time skating.
yes, long day it was.

아아.

어째 혼자 외지에 떨어져 살던때보다 한국에서 학교다니는게 더 심심하고 외롭다. 이.. 이런게 군중속의 고독인가봐... 흐미

not bad

I just finished the assignment that I worried about. What a relief!
It wasn't terribly difficult actually- but since this textbook is written in english, it took me more time to look up some words in dictionary and understand what it says.. rather annoying stuff.
But it's done sooner than I thought so that's that. I'm relieved now. Midterm is waiting ahead but fuck it. I will rest in peace for 3 days straight from friday haha!

not good

I've got an assignment due thursday which takes lots of time and I did waste my time on nothing last weekends. I'm fucked up.... like literally.. okay let me see if it's a possible work in 2 days.

I have like 3 hrs left til bedtime today and I think I can spend on it for like 1.5hrs. and I'm going to wake up around 10 2mrw and go get to gym(at school) by 12:30. I got 2 classes 2mrw, following one after another, from 2:00 to 4:45. so that means I'll be available after 5. oh yet, there's another 1.5hrs-ish in bus&subway on the way home. so most likely, I'll be FINALLY all set to do my homework after 7 p.m.

dayum.. seems quite obvious that i'm running short of time. better get started right now...

but maybe one beer doesn't hurt me so haha..??!?

result out today

Score 970 is nothing special while there's a toefl, but I think it's not bad for the first time. I was kind of scared of the result coming out to be honest cuz people automatically think I became good at english over the past year, which is totally not true! I mean.. well I'd been in english speaking country for a year but it wasn't the language I went abroad for and nor did I go to language school while I was in Canada. I went there, earned my living there, and sometimes I went through hard times there. I was literally living life. And I'm proud of the fact that I made it through by my own in an unfamiliar country at age 20, spent no money that belongs to my parents. It's not something most people experience at their age 20. Anyway my point is, my english still sucks really. That's what I'm trying to say.

These are just words flowing out from my mouth aiming nobody.. just me explaining to unload the pressure.

three fucking AM

this paperwork is due to be submitted in 10 hrs and WTF have I done! I'm going under. ahhhhhhhhhhh should have finished this shit already!

let the caffeine do his work and I'll do mine. let's fucking get this shit done.

=

my twenties were supposed to be a whole lot of fun.

doesn't seem like it.
ain't feel like it.

고연전

야구 승
농구 패
아이스하키 패
럭비 무
축구 승

하하 내가 본 경기만 이긴거다.

09학번들을 아직 본 적이 없어 궁금하여 찾아갔는데.. 못봤다. 뒷모습만 찔끔 봤다. 흑. 일단 동기인 07들이 같이 간 정근이형과 민호형 밖에 없었고 (재성이형은 금방 왔다가 학원으로..) 둘이 rotc 행사를 가야 했으므로 내가 오래 머물 이유가 없었다. 08학번 후배들은 뭔가 어려워ㅠㅠ

문득 1학년때가 생각난다. 다 같이 참여해서 놀고 싶은데- 연락해서 같이 놀자고 물어볼 만큼 골고루 친해지지 못해서..

아참 그건 그렇고 가보니 그 자리에 있어선 안될 사람도 한명 계시더라. 뉴스에 나올법한 사건의 주인공인 그 선배는 무슨 낯짝으로 와서.. 그것도 우리과 있는곳에서 응원을 하고있는건지. 역겨웠다.

구월십일목요일 나는

being isolated.

I feel the hunger to occupy my mind with something but nothing seems interesting enough for me to carry on and move ahead.

I just want to be there.

:O

나는 너무 외롭습니다요!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




is there any chance she's interested in me?
even the slightest chance-?
she's worth loving, am I though?
are we really supposed to be just walking separate paths?

lots of questions come and go every second in my head-
but she doesn't even bother thinking of me I guess.


pointless thoughts, a hopeless dream.
they'll just slip away.. i'll just wait til' then.

just let my imagination die. I'll be fine.

you face it, you take it.

everyone's given a chance (or two!?) in their lifetime
to become "the lucky ones"

you've got to know though.
sometimes these chances seem so trivial when they come that you may not be aware of.

so don't just sit there waiting for the BIG SHOT.
they might in fact turn out to be your key to ultimate success.

do seizure every single chance. they only come once
and once they're gone, they're gone too far.

-

"Can a man still be brave if he's afraid?"
Bran heard his own voice saying, small and far away.

and his father, Eddard's voice replied to him.

"That is the only time a man can be brave."



- A quote of George R. R. Martin from 'A Game of Throne'

+

Money can't buy you love, but it seems like it can for some people!?

Materialism's putting too much strain on marriage these days. I know it can't be ignored but isn't it about loving&being loved?

Everyone's got contaminated and they're claiming I'm the one who's not being honest.

Perhaps I'm going to ride a fucked-up car? I don't give a shit. I will drive it like a millionaire next to my lover (not a gold digger). We'll live it up with no money.

I may not have been through enough but I know one thing for sure. Money CANNOT buy you love. That's the farthest thing from the truth.

-

Whenever in doubt or feeling lost about my future,
I dig around in the past.

It may not find you an answer, but it certainly helps you be closer to that.

+

Have you ever felt some sort of homesick for someone you never were-?

I've learned from my experience, that I could be a completely different person(in a good way) while I'm still me. Kinda complicated to understand/explain, eh?

Just go some place you've never been before and be a total stranger. Don't be afraid, you'll be still you when you get back, only better-

We live only once after all- so why don't we live it to the fullest :)

-

So I arrived in Korea and.. hm.. yea everything's gooooood so far.. well this is my home country so I think it should be goooood..

But, uh, listen up.

What is up with DUDES?!?

I think they all turned gay while I wasn't here! maybe it's some kinda trend or something? ah.. confusing.

Look, I ain't got nothing against those skinny jeans, colorful clothes, or some weird shoes. I know those kinda stuffs are considered to be 'HIP'. but seriously.. if you can't pull it off, please stay away from it. That's just not our thing... it's just so wrong..

well, homo or no homo whatsoever, fuck it.
it's always good to be home- no matter how things have changed. (it might be a little problem if people really turned gay tho.... I really do worry about it.. let's hope not lol)

fresh

I finally am flying over to my Korea.

I came here Canada when I became 20 and am leaving when I turned 21. I can proudly say it was such a meaningful experience, not to mention it was the entry of my 20's. For the first time I was living life on my own- in the country I had never been before!

I won't say it all went perfect as I expected.. No one could take care of me when I was sick and also there was some time I had to get financial support from my parents due to my unemployed status, and.. Oh well, I almost forgot, I pay the respect to these two named Amir & Homa for owing me my paycheck($500!) and not giving me that. I really do. I went through such a hard time guys :) You taught me a real lesson, the lesson that I should not mess with people from your country. Call me racist but you can't blame me-

But let's just put it aside, It's all goooood now.

Anyways, It's just so amazing that time flew by this fast. Coming to think of it, I always believed the years pass by faster than we age but hey, look how much I've grown, I think I outrun it this time.

It wasn't like I realize what life is all about now or anything like that but it definitely has changed my view and I'm excited where it leads me to from now on.

Maybe at some point in the future, I can reflect upon this experience (I'd rather like to call it 'one long dream') and say it was a turning point of my life-